This, I feel, can be a hot button issue, but it's not about bed-sharing, co-sleeping, or a crib. It's about continuing to meet your child's needs at night.
I think, overall, we have rough sleeping in the Solt House. At least it feels like it right now. We go through phases, and we're currently in a harder one.
Either Ivy or Jamey wake up during the night. They are getting better, but every night, I have to tell them, "Remember to sleep in your bed all night long." They have been coming into our bed almost every night. At least one of them. I can't have both of them in bed with me & Livy, so if they both wake up, they both have to go back to their own beds. Livy is in bed with me, because it's so easy with night nursing. And I seem to get pretty okay sleep, although lately, I've been craving sleeping all night long without touching anyone. Ivy isn't bad to sleep with; she'll crawl in on Jeremy's side and just sleep all the way over there. Jamey, on the other hand, crawls in right next to me and tries to sleep totally smooshed up against my back. Then I have him there and Livy in the front, and I can't move at all. Now, Ivy's been doing a bit better at night. But Jamey is waking up crying with his covers on the floor. So I have to go in to calm him down and then cover him back up. Livy wakes up about two times between 10 and 7. Through all of this, most nights Jeremy ends up on the couch. Supposedly, I snore (yuck). And he might be the World's Lightest Sleeper. Plus he has early morning workouts at least three times a week, so he doesn't want to wake us up before the crack of dawn. (That's very nice!)
We're working on Ivy & Jamey sleeping more peacefully. Then we can move Auntie Bethany to the basement, and get Livy in the crib in her own room (so she doesn't wake up the Big 2). And then Jeremy can come back to our bed for real. And then maybe, one day, I'll sleep all night again.
The first six or so months with a new baby have always been rough in our house with the co-sleeping and then transitioning to the crib. We had a good thing going for a while, but it never lasts.In following this Principle, we respond to our kids all the time. They still need us, even if it's dark. They need help falling asleep and going back to sleep. I can not let them cry (especially the older two--they'll just get out of bed). This works with "Respond with Sensitivity." We gently take them back to bed, give kisses, get water, tuck in, etc. Whatever they need to get back to sleep calmly. There are nights that I'm grouchier than needed, but we aim to be just as gentle and kind at night as during the day.
Our night time routine for Ivy & Jamey:
- Bath
- Jammies
- Brush Teeth
- Goodnight kisses
- Read one book each while rocking with the parent
- Hop in bed
- Parent stays in the room until they fall asleep
From Bath to Sleeping takes about an hour. They're asleep by 8 and then wake up around 7.
Our night time routine for Livy:
- There is none yet. We're working on it, but the girl won't sleep longer than 45 minutes at night unless I'm right there. When we get her room set up, we'll get serious about it. I just don't want to go to bed at 8 or 9, so she takes a short late nap and goes to bed with us at 10:30 or so.
- We will shoot for the 2-3-4 schedule with her. It worked great for Ivy & Jamey, so here's hoping. I'm eager for her to go to bed at 8 so I can have some kid-free time.
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